We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
