the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
