i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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