Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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