Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize