I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
