I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
