i jhust puked up my retainher.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
