She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
