yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize