She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
