UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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