i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
