found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
