Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize