I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize