does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
