I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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