guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize