I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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