I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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