I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
