I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
