I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Nobody cheats on THIS.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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