I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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