is your mom at the bar?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
