i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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