i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
