I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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