I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
