We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
