YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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