She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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