It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
