If that was your dad, he is hot
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
