My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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