I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Non-Jews are for practice
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
