i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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