I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
