Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
