OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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