The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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