Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
