When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
