I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
