with your own penis?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Operation Purity has been aborted
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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