how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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