I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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