Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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