you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
