Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
