i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
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