i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
