I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
