How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
