I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
