I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
