I think i peed on brittanys purse
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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