I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
