tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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