was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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